


the place at the end of the world

by hirokiyuu



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Shadow of the Colossus, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 00:24:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8775802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hirokiyuu/pseuds/hirokiyuu
Summary: in which itsuki shuu embarks on a most grievous task.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 1/3rd ship fic, 1/3 exploration of video game mechanics, and 1/3 exercise in atmosphere. on a scale of one to ten, with ten being the absolute most self indulgent thing i could have possibly written, this is probably an eight or a nine. anyways, if you haven't played shadow of the colossus, please read this with caution, as it contains major spoilers for the game. also, please play shadow of the colossus.
> 
> dedicated 2 alm, without whom this would never have been written. i'm love you??

  _“souls once lost cannot be reclaimed… is that not the law of mortals? well, i suppose with that sword...."_

* * *

  _valus_

even as he leans against the rocks next to the cliffside to catch his breath, his heartbeat doesn’t slow. with every step that echoes through the valley, dust puffs up and his hands shake. his sword is shining with a light that cuts straight through him, and he doesn’t have to look back to know the creature’s forehead is glowing brightly, so high in the air shuu has to crane his neck to see. how is someone like him supposed to kill something like _that?_

it’s impossible for him, and yet -- shuu thinks of nazuna, eyes closed, skin cold, and his grip on his sword tightens. he breathes in, breathes out, and though his hands have not stopped shaking, shuu steps from behind the rocks.

* * *

_quadratus_

he’d learnt to shoot a bow at fifteen, sitting astride his horse, kuro at his back. “ _easy there, icchan_ ,” kuro said when shuu’s shots had gone wide, and finally just before sunset shuu’d made a perfect bullseye. it’s a skill he’d thought useless for himself at the time but kuro had insisted, and now even knowing what kuro would think of this task, he’s grateful. one arrow, two, and then the beast’s knees buckle and he slides off mado towards it.

climbing this one is easier only because it moves less. his knuckles are white where they’re fisted into its fur and driving the sword into its flesh takes more strength than he ever imagined possessing, but in the end it falls. he slides off its back and lands hard in the sand, and this time when the tendrils of darkness start to shoot up he turns to run but after only two steps they stab through him and he screams.

* * *

_gaius_

halfway through his jump he realizes he’s not going to make it.

it’s a strange sensation. for a second there’s nothing but empty air around him and then he’s being dragged down, a lurching feeling rising in his gut drowned out by the fear that wraps around his throat. his fingers scrabble at the side of the ledge but there’s nothing to hold and then he’s freefalling.

somehow he twists, manages to reangle his body even as he drops, sliding past the stone path and landing in the water right next to it. impact hurts but shuu breaks the surface still breathing, and for an hour, a minute, a second, he lies in the water, staring up at the clouds. gradually his heart slows and he flips himself over to swim towards the steep path leading up to the tower.

his body aches but he’s got no time to lose. he moves hand over head and counts his breath in seconds. _fourteen_ , he thinks, and his lungs burn.

* * *

_phaedra_

something about being underground makes his palms sweat. he keeps having to pause, shift his sword from hand to hand and wipe off his hands over and over so he won’t lose his grip. still his breath comes short and as the earth shakes over his head he can’t help but flinch.

(the earth is where they bury the dead, he thinks, suddenly, and he takes the steps out two at at time.)

* * *

_avion_

he’d carried nazuna in his arms to the temple. that’s what he remembers, suddenly, lying in the lake as the colossus sinks into the depths beneath him. nazuna’s weight and the coldness of his skin, the way shuu had wrapped him carefully in his quilt before stealing him away and how even the fire he'd stoked had done nothing for the block of ice nazuna had become.

“ _doomed by fate_ ,” hasumi-sama had said, all those years ago, when he’d very first realized what nazuna was, and thinking of those words now shuu stares into the sky and wants to laugh. fate? if nazuna’s fate truly is death, then there’s no reason to regret this errand. fate is useless if it leaves nazuna -- _nazuna_ , of all people -- cold and dead with barely a life lived.

when the tendrils of darkness appear in the corner of his vision, for the first time he does not try to avoid them. they hurt where they pierce his skin but he thinks of nazuna’s still chest, and as he sinks into darkness he closes his eyes.

* * *

_barba_

halfway through the desert a lizard scuttles in front of mado, bones cracking under her hoof. she rears, shuu barely managing to keep a hold on her, and when she stops shuu slides off to reassure her. as he does the lizard’s body catches his eye and he crouches down.

it should have been too small for him to see up on mado’s back, but somehow he’d noticed it anyways. looking closer it’s obvious why: its tail is bright silver and shining. still, it’s twitching pitifully, half its body crushed from where mado had stepped on it, and so shuu does the merciful thing: draws his sword and quickly slices off its head.

he’s not expecting the rush that fills him when he does; his eyes widen and before his eyes the silver light vanishes from its tail, leaving the corpse plain and black. the lizard’s corpse evaporates into the air until there’s nothing left but sand and sun.

he still feels -- odd. shuu straightens, and as if in a trance he pulls the bow from his back, nocks an arrow, and shoots as far as he can. it lands further than the shots he’d been practicing on mado earlier, and just to make sure he tries one more time. he watches it land next to the first, and as he stretches his fingers and puts his bow away, his eyes are already casting over the desert, looking for any other bright spots of silver light.

* * *

_hydrus_

humans are not meant to survive under water this long. still, shuu’s hands do not unclench from the monster’s fur, and even as seconds tick by his eyes remain open and his heart continues to beat. and finally, finally -- it surfaces, and shuu pauses only long enough to take a breath before he drags himself forward hand over shaking hand. even as electricity stabs at his skin, even as the creature bucks wildly as he stabs into it, even as it dives so deep shuu can barely remember the sun, he does not let go, and finally he drives his sword into its skull for the last time.

its corpse sinks into the lakebed. shuu floats in the water, face above air, and when the tendrils pierce him he sinks too.

* * *

_kuromori_

suddenly he wonders if kagehira has eaten recently. mado’s drinking from the lake, and shuu hasn’t -- hasn’t felt hungry in a while, but if kagehira were here he’d have at least one hard crumbling piece of bread shoved into his hands, as if kagehira were any better at remembering to eat than shuu himself.

for the first time shuu feels a prick of regret. kagehira isn’t really the type to take care of himself. without shuu to keep him from promising himself to dangerous jobs, or to ensure he’s sleeping, or to remind him to eat things other than those awful sweets, how is kagehira doing?

shuu closes his eyes, leans back, forces himself to breathe out one long sigh. kagehira isn’t a child. besides, it’s not as if shuu was the only one who worried after kagehira. narukami was there, always pulling kagehira along by the arm. it will have to be enough.

shuu is needed more here.

* * *

_basaran_

when shuu stands nazuna is still. shuu crosses the room to the dais anyways, the vision of nazuna sitting up still there on the back of his eyelids every time he blinks. he reaches, catches sight of his own darkened flesh, and instead of pressing his hand to nazuna’s skin he tilts the back of his hand to nazuna’s mouth. there’s no breath. nazuna is still dead. _of course he is_ , shuu thinks, and he can feel the weight of the statues still lining the walls pressing on him. how soon til hasumi-sama comes after him?

“ _thy next foe_ ,” dormin’s voice begins above him, ringing in his ears, and shuu pulls away to stare up into the light.

* * *

_dirge_

he awakens suddenly, leaning against the shrine, mado nudging at his forehead with her wet nose. he blinks rapidly, clearing sleep from his eyes, and for reasons he can’t understand waking feels wrong. his dream leaves him rapidly, leaving him with only impressions: his bow in his hands, mado crumpling underneath him, his back pressed to the wall and a feeling of absolute terror. and then after another moment even those fade, and all shuu can think as he pulls himself up is the certainty that he’ll have to be careful facing this next colossus -- there are no second chances here, after all.

* * *

_celosia_

the bottom of the stairs are shrouded in fog. shuu looks, but there is no lake to be seen, and mado balks at the steepness of the pass. he draws his sword, angles it down, and the beam of light shines brightly but shuu can’t see where it lands.

mado knickers behind him. he raises a hand, presses it gently to her snout. he’s come this far following dormin’s instructions, and even if all that lies below him is uncertainty -- well, how is that any different from what he’s been following this whole time?

shuu leaves mado untethered, sheathes his sword, and carefully, carefully, he descends.

* * *

_pelagia_

and it’s nothing like fighting a colossus but crouching behind the pillar he’s reminded, suddenly, of childhood games. “ _you hide first_ ,” ryuu-kun had always insisted, grin splitting his face open, and so shuu had gotten used to running, hiding, ducking behind cabinets and pulling himself up trees. they hadn’t played those games in years but here he is again, crouching and hoping he won’t be seen.

it’s not kiryuu looking for him, though, and so when the colossus lifts itself up to loom over shuu, shuu doesn’t hesitate to draw his sword.

* * *

_phalanx_

something about this one gives him pause. it doesn’t even seem to notice him, even when he whistles at it; it flies silently through the air. still, he knows what he has to do. he grabs his bow, spurs mado forward, and as he nocks an arrow he thinks of nazuna’s still face and aims carefully.

there’s no more hesitating here. already his hands are stained. under his nails is a filth he’ll never be able to get out.

he shoots. the creature screams. shuu nocks another arrow.

* * *

_cenobia_

he is almost certain the colossi used to have a smell, rotten and sickening, but perhaps it was only the early ones or perhaps he has just grown used to it. he stabs the creature and as the ichor spurts from its back he does not need to blink or rub it from his face anymore. under his fingers its hair no longer feels coarse; in fact it no longer feels like anything at all. it doesn’t matter. the only importance the colossi have is how many stand between him and his goal. with another stab the creature collapses and shuu is thrown off, rolling in the dirt, and he lies there, staring at the sword in his hands, until the tendrils of darkness shoot through him like arrows and he can finally rest.

* * *

_argus_

his eyes ache but shuu doesn’t bother to rub them, letting black hair fall into his field of vision as he stares down. the colossus lets out a rattling yell so loud dust shakes from the broken edge of the bridge where shuu is perched, but shuu barely hears it, watching as it takes lumbering step after lumbering step. when he jumps onto it it shakes but he doesn’t fall, driving his sword into his shoulder over and over. even then it still screams, reaching up for him, and as it does shuu catches sight of the sigil on its other hand. he leaps for it, catching onto the space right above the wrist, and with a single slash it’s dropped its weapon. after that it only takes one more stab for the creature to fall.

as it crumples to the ground shuu realizes his hands are shaking. _one more._ he licks his cracked lips, watching darkness spiral up towards the sky. _one more, and then nazuna will_ \--

* * *

_malus_

_finally,_ he thinks, as the colossus screams under him. _finally_ , he thinks, and as he does his footing slips.

dark tendrils spiral through the air as he falls. shuu opens his arms to them, and laughs.

* * *

(and as his eyes start to close, shuu finds himself caught in a dream -- or rather, a memory:

“ _please_ ,” shuu begged, hands gripping nazuna’s too tightly, “ _please, let me take you away from here_.”

nazuna had smiled, eyes shining, and when he’d shaken his head the first tear trickled down his cheek. “ _maybe_ ,” he’d said, and his voice was shaking, “ _in another world, we could have spent our lives together_.” he’d laughed, reaching up to wipe his cheeks without letting go of shuu’s hands. “ _that would have been nice._ ”

“ _i have mado,_ ” shuu had said, “ _we could go, far away, just the two of us_.”

nazuna did not stop smiling, even as more tears spilled down his face. “ _shuu_ ,” he’d said, using shuu’s given name for the first time. “ _we can’t. even if--_ ”

“ _we can_ ,” shuu insisted, and leaned forward, close enough that nazuna was the only thing he could see. “ _nazuna_ ,” he’d said, and his tongue had nearly tripped over the name he’d only ever used in his head, “ _i would do anything to make you happy._ ”

it had taken him a second to realize what, exactly, the sensation against his lips was. he’d closed his eyes, pressed back just the slightest bit, and then as if by some silent understanding they’d both pulled away. “ _i love you too_ ,” nazuna had whispered, breath fanning across shuu’s lips. “ _i really -- i really wish we could have been --_ ”

“ _hey!_ ” shuu had flinched but not pulled away even as the door to nazuna’s hut banged open. “ _no one’s allowed to -_ -”

kuro had paused. “ _itsuki_ ,” he’d said, and his voice was just as stern but there was a hint of something else in it too, now. “ _no one is supposed to touch him._ ”

“ _kiryuu_ \--”

“ _nito_ ,” kuro said, gaze shifting. “ _you know what your fate is_.”

shuu’s eyes shifted too. nazuna was no longer looking at him. “ _i_ _do_ ,” nazuna said, softly, and pulled his hands from shuu’s.

“ _nazuna_ ,” shuu said, and reached forward again --

a hand on his shirt dragged him back. “ _don’t, itsuki_.” kuro’s voice rang in his ears but all he could see right then had been nazuna’s body, small and curled in on itself, eyes turned away from shuu’s. " _i_ _’m taking you home_.”

“ _no_ ,” he’d said, reaching out, but kuro lifted him by the waist, and pulled him out the door. even as he’d been forced out the room his eyes had been locked to nazuna, had watched nazuna’s hands shake, had watched tears drop onto nazuna’s floor. “ _kiryuu -- ryuu-chan_ , please.”

“ _i’m sorry_ ,” kuro had said.

the next morning nazuna was dead.)

* * *

_dormin_

his body is too light his feet do not rest on the ground and when he tries to move his legs are pulled back _nazuna_ he says but no sound comes from his mouth _nazuna_ he screams but from this distance he can’t even see the altar

and when he trips backwards over the steps somehow his fingers catch on them through his hands he can see gray stone but it doesn’t matter that he’s falling to pieces even as he drags himself forward because at the end of this hall is nazuna nazuna _nazuna_

his mouth is still silent and his hands are shaking even with how strong his body has become it’s not enough slowly his fingers lose their grip one by one _no_ he thinks _no please i can’t_ and then the last one slips and he reaches but it’s no use and then

* * *

he opens his eyes. there’s no sleep in them, even though he’s had them closed for longer than he could imagine. nazuna breathes in, breathes out, and as he does he knows: he is supposed to be dead.

and yet his body feels lighter than ever before; he sits up and revels in the feeling of cold stone against his legs and the way the breeze presses his hair to his cheek. nazuna flexes his hand and watches the musculature move under his skin, swallows and feels the clench of his throat.

the novelty hasn’t quite worn off when nazuna finally tears his gaze away from his own living body. “hello?” he calls, and his voice echoes through the empty temple, bouncing off depressions in the walls filled with rubble. amazement is leaving him slowly, and the dais he’d woken on is too cold to be comfortable. comfort. it’s strange, to find that mattering again.

his toes curl for a moment when they touch the rough ground. even before he had only rarely gone outside; the way dirt molds to his feet and catches between his toes is so foreign he has to take a moment to stand, shifting his weight back and forth. a grin breaks across his face, and a laugh bubbles up in him. gods, he can’t wait to tell --

nazuna stills, the smile dropping from his face as easily as it came. he turns to look at the dais, and his eyes trace symbols and characters he recognizes from hasumi-sama’s old books. “shuu,” he whispers, and when he turns back to the temple, he counts sixteen depressions in the walls. “shuu, you _didn’t_ ,” he says, and when he steps forward he no longer notices the feeling of the ground under his feet.

his throat hurts, his eyes burn, and even the novelty of then can’t stop them from coming. “shuu,” he calls out, and there’s no response. of course there’s not. “ _shuu_ ,” he tries, just one more time, and when his voice comes bouncing back he blinks rapidly and -- miraculously, he does not cry.

it’d be a waste, after all, to start out this second chance with tears. shuu gave him this life, regardless of the cost. the least nazuna can do is treasure it.

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos are greatly appreciated! additionally, if you liked my writing and wanna see more, my commissions are open!! https://twitter.com/hirokiyuus/status/787477575324962816


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